The 23rd Birthday Project. Day Two

Freedom from the feeling of Entitlement 

French Sociologist Marcel Mauss said, "There is an obligation to give, an obligation to receive and an obligation to repay".

What does this mean? It means, in terms of our relationships with others, it natural to give something in other to strengthen that relationship, and of course on the other side they're meant to receive that gift else it'd seem they're not interested in continuing the relationship (relationship can be friendship, family, business partners, etc) and the person is also expected to repay that gift as a sign of courtesy. Refusing to receive would mean one is afraid or unwilling to repay.

Engr. Lynda Nnagboro says, "When the obligation to receive changes to entitlement, the obligation to repay is neglected". 

What is Entitlement? There are several interpretations of this word but one is quite common, which is,"the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment". This is something we've all encountered in one way or the other in varying levels. In most cases this feeling stems around money, because whether we acknowledge it or not money does run the world.

When I was younger it was natural to expect people to do things for me especially family. It was easy to enjoy these privileges because I was young and unable to do some things myself. The older I got, the more I became conscious of myself and my interaction with my surroundings, I've had to readjust my thoughts continuously. That wasn't easy because it's much more comfortable to stay with how things are. 

As a female, it can be quite easy to take entitlement to extreme levels if one is not conscious enough. I say it's easy because from an early age in the typical Nigerian home, girls are trained on how to take care of her husband's home and her husband will in turn take care of her and the kids. At that stage all her needs are taken care of by her father then gradually those needs will be moved to her husband or in this order, boyfriend, fiance, then husband. How would things be if she was taught differently? 🤔

This topic has really sparked a lot of argument on and off social media. And there'll definitely always be varying opinions about it and that's probably how it'll always be. 

I took a personal decision to stop feeling entitled, and with the help of God and my boyfriend I was successful. It was a necessary step I had to take for my sanity, happiness and peace of mind (😇). I no longer question why so and so person isn't doing this for me or giving me whatever, no, I couldn't continue living that way. If I continued to feel entitled to anyone's time, love, money, etc, that would mean I'd continue to give them power over me, influence over my decisions and direction to my steps. I decided the course my life will only be influenced by Love ♥️. A lot of people do not understand what love means, this verse explains it well enough 1Corinthians 13:4-13, please refer to it to get what I mean. I wrote a poem once titled Entitlement, enjoy 😁

Outstretched hands to receive

A tug in your insides to give

Your sense of reciprocity left for dead

Revival an option you'd never consider

An escape from entitlement 

A path you'd never take 

Disappointment, etched in your lover's face

A look you'd never see with your outstretched hands.